Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
