My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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