I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
