his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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