Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
