STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
