Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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