Define "chronic" masturbator.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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