so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
