two words: eviction party
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
