guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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