he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
