I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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