Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
