I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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