I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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