no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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