I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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