Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
