It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
