Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
