Quick, to the slutcave!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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