he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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