I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
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