If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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