I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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