guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
