How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
