Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
