The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
