I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
