What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
