The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's official drugs can't kill me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
