I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
