Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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