but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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