She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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