maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
