areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS