thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
now i know why i became what i already was.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
