i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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