I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.