Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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  (574): I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI. http://tfl.nu/701e
  Replies (19) Good night (3953) Bad night (533)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  we have officially mastered the walk of shame

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  (857): we have officially mastered the walk of shame http://tfl.nu/pg06
  Replies (11) Good night (3621) Bad night (864)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?

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  (281): what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish? http://tfl.nu/s2pv
  Replies (41) Good night (5407) Bad night (946)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn

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  (330): apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn http://tfl.nu/ven0
  Replies (14) Good night (1105) Bad night (5077)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me

  (310): View more from California

  maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA

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  (440): somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me (310): maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA http://tfl.nu/mrhy
  Replies (1) Good night (2013) Bad night (761)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  what are we doing this weekend?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.

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  (708): what are we doing this weekend? (1-708): I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/uvwp
  Replies (5) Good night (2113) Bad night (1216)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.

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  (720): You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis. http://tfl.nu/1eq4
  Replies (3) Good night (1881) Bad night (704)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..

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  (570): Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me.. http://tfl.nu/j14b
  Replies (5) Good night (1122) Bad night (580)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker

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  (612): Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker http://tfl.nu/kwb8
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (918)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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  (613): Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in. http://tfl.nu/gv1u
  Replies (3) Good night (1016) Bad night (398)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think he's speaking German to me now

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly

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  (519): I think he's speaking German to me now (519): Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly http://tfl.nu/dbru
  Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (347)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you

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  (616): i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them (1-616): its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you http://tfl.nu/jk07
  Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (495)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!

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  (214): I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made! http://tfl.nu/rkm5
  Replies (6) Good night (768) Bad night (386)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.

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  (410): We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with. http://tfl.nu/mg3p
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (243)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.

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  (941): He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too. http://tfl.nu/ka0m
  Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (356)

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