Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.