I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
