the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
