I think i peed on brittanys purse
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
