spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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