I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
