mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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