pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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