So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize