maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You have to summon your inner elephant
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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