I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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