There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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