So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
