absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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