We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
