who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
