His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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