dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
sex in a hospital.. check
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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