I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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