And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
