He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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