Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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