You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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