only if we run a train.
done.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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