he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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