An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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