If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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