dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
