Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
